Wake Me Up When August Ends

I wish the damn summer would end already. I’ve been experiencing summer for something like nine weeks now.
The past week was great, a story best told by the 84 photos taken during it. Friday night ended on a confusing/depressing note for me though, and I ended up pondering about my life until around five in the morning at Merry Monk. I then went home and proceeded to sleep until 5 p.m., with several interruptions. I then didn’t leave my apartment for around 33 hours.
Yep, you guessed it, the same issue that comes up every year around this time in this weblog. My being stuck in the past and the regrets I have. The whole situation probably wouldn’t be so bad if my days weren’t so blank. I have absolutely nothing to do. Things I could do, like go swimming or put some more work into my website, I don’t feel like doing.
The only thing I’ve been doing is putting together a DVD with photos from last week. Of course, this isn’t exactly intelligent, because I keep having to stare at photos from last week, which was great. The whole encoding process takes ages, and isn’t working right now for some reason. After hours of encoding and keeping my laptop heated up to a scorching 146°F (63°C), the program crashes. I’m now giving it a shot with out transitions (fading) between the photos, hoping that will knock out a great deal of complexity.
My body’s still in bad shape as well. My lack of appetite the past few days has caused me to lose 11 lbs. (5 kg). I can’t even take my frustration out by running to Mauer, as my legs don’t work well right now, probably from the amount I walked the past few nights. Additionally I’ve had this pressure feeling on my chest since Saturday morning. I’m probably going to have a heart attack from all this damn freezer pizza I’ve been eating, coupled with emotional stress.
Tomorrow morning I get to make myself useful by ordering a new side mirror for my car here. Some bastard(s) kicked it in and partially shattered it Thursday night.
Once I get back to the States on August 2, my life probably won’t be much better for a couple weeks. I’ll spend sometime furnishing my Syracuse apartment, but will probably get sick of that soon as well. I’d like to start working at Target again as soon as possible, because it makes me feel useful and fills up most of my week. My parents probably want me to spend some time in Vestal with them first though.
I just can’t wait for the last week of August, when school starts up again, I’ll have friends around, and the parties will be great every night. That ought to get my mind off things. Until then though, it’s going to be a rough six weeks.

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