You Know You’re an IB Slave When…



1. You know how to spell “Baccalaureate”.
2. You’ve convinced yourself that colleges actually care whether you’re in IB or not.
3. You write sentences on multiple choice tests (see below).
4. You need FOUR extra sheets to “use extra sheet if necessary”.
5. It rains and you carry your umbrella over your backpack instead of yourself.
6. “Due” date means “Do” date.
7. You’d go into severe spasms if you lost your day-planner.
8. You wonder if there are Cliffs Notes on your Calc book.
9. Pressed for time, you conclude your History essay with “And they lived happily ever after. Amen.”
10. You worry about the 98% you have in Advanced Topics.
11. You’ve laminated your bio flash cards so you can use them in the shower.
12. You’ve memorized the cracks in the stucco on the wall behind your computer.
13. Who needs Flinstones vitamins when you’ve got speed?
14. You actually believe “mental health days” are excused absences.
15. You chat on Instant Messenger and say ’cause instead of cuz.
16. Brewing coffee takes to long, so you just eat the beans.
17. You think MTV is a formula for mass, temperature, and volume.
18. You gave up your search for a “nice university with a good curriculum” and you’ve now redefined your search to “a nice bell tower with a good mount for a sniper rifle”.
19. You worry about hyphens.
20. You’ve mastered the art of procrastination so well that your research paper finishes printing just seconds before you have to leave for school.
21. You’re watching Animal Planet and are convinced that the one antelope is a Christ figure.
22. You go into hysterics when you’ve missed two points on your homework.
23. You’ve developed an imprint of your backpack on your bag.
24. You think “getting high” is a reference to grades.
25. You point out all the historically innacurate mistakes in movies.
26. Your every day sayings include “Wow, I just pulled a Holden Caulfield”.
27. Someone says “Mmm, apple pie. That’s what America is all about.” and you can come up with an argument that apple pie is really communistic.
28. You sleep more in class than you do at home.
29. You can type 60 words per minute on a TI-83.
30. You buy caffeinated water.
31. You’ve consulted tarot cards for hints on a History test.
32. You use CAS as an excuse to go and see “Jurrasic Park 3”.
33. You have nicknames like “Zapata” and various other Mexican revolutionaries.*
34. You’ve never been to church – heck, you aren’t even Christian – and you can make bibical references to PokÈmon.
35. The exclaimation “Symbolism like JESUS!” sends you into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.*
36. You can list all five definitions on vocabulary tests.
37. You finish your English essay shortly before midnight. Your smile of satisfaction fades when you remember you need to start on your History paper.
38. You forget what it’s like to talk on the phone for…what’s that word…fun?
39. You skip lunch to cry/study in the bathroom.
40. You focus you WHOLE LIFE around the Group 4 project.
41. You accidently type “LOOL” instead of “LOL” in an IM conversation and explain it as “Laugh out ostentatiously loud”.
42. *Ahem* You have end notes at the end of a list on your website.
43. Someone tells you to relax and you go into spasms – “Relax? RELAX?!?”
44. “It’s a beautiful day outside to do that science experiment.”
45. You go to school on the weekends and on national holidays to work with your extended essay coordinator.
46. “IB, therfore I B.S.”
47. You can lead your way through a frog’s instestines with your eyes closed.
48. You exceed the 4200 word limit on the Extended Essay.
49. It takes more than one trip to carry the books you need between your car and your locker.
50. You crash your calculator.
51. You skip school to do homework.
52. The word “ponder” induces hyperventilation.
53. You’re American and you write everything using British spelling.

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